Poem: Speak to Me Not in Your Animal Language

SPEAK TO ME NOT IN YOUR ANIMAL LANGUAGE

Speak to me not in your animal language
For your cat calls mean nothing to me.
Won't talk turkey with a dog-in-a-manger
Who'd bring a goose down on a bed of horsefeathers.

Speak to me not in your cock-sure prattle
For your silk-purse-sow's-ear valentine
Was the straw that broke the camel's back,
Proving only that you can't cast pearls before swine.

You found no goat to get, no wet-hen madness
For I know you can't teach an old dog
New tricks.

So these crocodile tears
Say see you later, alligator.
Your cat-and-mouse game is over, it's true.
And the only animal game left to play
Is pin the tail on you.